Bens Wildflower by Carol Lynne

You Have Been Warned.

First. The hero, Ben, is a monster waiting to happen. Constantly professing his love then telling Kate to be ready to take him the minute he feels like whipping it out. Wherever and whenever. Second. I sorta know that some people really really do live lives similar to those portrayed in this story. God help them. Thirdly. This novel is so astoundingly awful that in the end I just gave up being disgusted and went along with the ride. I have to say. In a smack-down between Lover Unbound and Ben’s Wildflower, the latter wins through every time. At least it has a happy ending. A proper full stop.

Ben’s Wildflower has it all and it has absolutely nothing. I’ll start like this. Both the females have been repeatedly violently raped in the past. Off-story. But does it put them off sex? Do either of them ever contemplate for one micro-second to say no the sexual demands of their partners. No Way Jose! Kate and Jenny both love to get Down To It. On their knees, on their backs, with small and big toys, any which way at all and in both holes.

But then. Interspersed with all the quite affecting carnality are scenes of mind-numbingly boring domesticity. Which I skim read. Like I’m interested in how much food the hero eats. This is share-cropper love at it’s most profound. Kate’s pooch almost dies then makes a complete recovery. None of the plot makes sense. I personally felt that somewhere there should have been an orgy scene involving Kate, Jenny, Cree, Jake and Ben.

The story also involves a proper plot about how Kate is nastily victimised by the small-town bully. Who also happens to be supposedly the richest guy in town. Yet again we get a small-town revenge scene where Ben gets a woman who has been disrespectful to Kate, fired. Oh and nicknames. Kate is Ben’s Wildflower. I’m inclined to call her Ben’s simple-minded slut. Unfortunately. According to the plot. Ben is Kate’s only lover apart from her rapist. At some point in the novel, the main couple make a conscious decision not to call their nemesis by his given name, Clint. So instead. For about half of the entire novel they refer to Clint as ‘the little fucker.’ So bizarre.

I absolutely could not empathise with Kate. Through any of her terrible troubles. Why was that? She relied totally on Ben for the resolution of all her problems. Yet she wasn’t any kind of doormat at all. I know for sure Ben will soon turn into massive spousal abuser. All the signs are there. Including his cloying declarations of love to Kate. On the other hand. Maybe not.

For the stout-hearted only. But having said all that. Just today I read a spoiler for Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. Believe me. It's plot is even more ridiculous. And more offensive.

Feral by Nathalie Gray

Another e-book. Rated e-rotic. Which means it’s supposed to be hot hot hot. But actually I ended up thinking ‘Boy! Some women have to work hard for one simple orgasm.’

Science fiction is not a genre which particularly appeals to me. And this story is totally derivative. Think of a million episodes of Star Trek. And I mean the 70s schtick. What’s more. By the end of this story I was more interested in the secondary characters, Liberty and Cupcake than the main couple Dex and Eva. Not hard when both the hero and heroine have no loyalties, looks or purpose in life. Even Dragana, with her pointless causes and easily roused hatred was more interesting.

I was unimpressed by the circumstances that caused Dex to change form over three times in the story. He’s supposed to change into this big killer lycan only under extreme stressful conditions but towards the end all Eva had to do was give him a smouldering look for it to bring out the big bad wolf in him. How predictable.

This is the first romance I’ve read where the heroine gives the hero some anal teasing. Definitely the first romance where the heroine has unashamedly undegone numerous cosmetic procedures. And the relationship between Eva and Dex was perfectly acceptable and believable. It almost worked how they began to feel genuine emotion for each other. Well. That’s what I thought.

The plot, such as it is, goes nowhere special. Despite all that. I'm quite tempted to read the follow-ups. Primal (which seems to be Liberty's and Cupcake's story) and Carnal (which ventures into Breed territory). To say nothing of the author's vampire story, DamNation. Maybe a couple of her werewolf stories, Wolfsbane and Bains Wolf too. tee hee. She's sort of Lora Leigh hot but without all the offensive male domination, female doormat baggage. I like the length of this novel. 142 pages. I totally object to reading a 400+ page romance only to conclude that I hated everything about it. (ie Harmony's Way, Lover Unbound)

The Viscount's Addiction by Scottie Barrett

I absolutely loved this little romance which is currently available only in e-book format. Mores the pity. The story is quite old-fashioned, simplistic and sparsely written. But it's nicely steamy and basically the story of an unfolding relationship between two people. There are no minor side-plots or romances. And it features a virgin heroine who instinctively knows she likes doing it with the right guy. Who also happens to be her unjustly jailed for 5-years husband. Her name is Jessie. She's beautiful, hard-working and helps her husband to throw off his opium addiction. The hero is called Ryder and despite being unjustly jailed has not returned to his home mean-spiritied. Everything is 100% consensual. When the heroine tells the hero 'No' he completely accepts it. Unlike the ghastly Claiming the Courtesan which to be honest I should never have read.

I also like the fact that despite being an historical novel, the cover art features two very modern looking individuals. I hate 'six-pack' guys on front covers.

My only criticism is that Viscounts Addiction is of course much too short. Maybe more could have been made of the step-father's obsession with witchcraft. Also. It wasn't really clear why those women waited 5 years before coming forward to provide Blackwood with an alibi. Or why anyone would believe what they had to say at all. And anyway. Why on earth would a Lord of the realm be jailed for killing a common hooker in those days?

What makes this e-book interesting and attractive is the Newgate prison back-story. The ending is really quite sweet too.

I personally am a bit fed up with heroines who are on their 2nd or even 3rd marriage when they meet their hero. How can that be true love?

After all my worries about e-book readers in the end it was completely easy to get hold of this novel. Everyone has the free Adobe on their desk-top. And that's all I needed. I paid for the novel with a card and it downloaded in only a couple of minutes. Fantastic! I'm very pleased.

The Forbidden Lord by Sabrina Jeffries

I thought this novel was tedious, trivial and twee. Which probably says more about me than it does about a story which so many other readers seem to like.

I can hardly remember anything about it. Other than that supposedly virtuous Emily scams her way around London like any hardened grifter and puts it out for a rich Lord with nary a thought for the consequences. I remember being unimpressed by Emily from the very beginning when she is described as bringing a 'physic' to her friend Sophie. I suppose in modern times she would be called Sophie's supplier. And oh. She might have left enough of her stash around to enable her mother to top herself. Charming.

The purpose of the whole stupid scam was to find out who Sophie's admirer was. It turned out to be Lawrence, Emily's prissy cousin. Too many scenes with men gossiping and standing off to each other like silly schoolboys. I also didn't like the co-instigator of the deception, Ophelia, the gaudily dressed matron. In effect she was Emily's other jailor but then seemed to transform into Emily's Dear Aunt. And Emily actually liked her.

There was never any doubt about the ending after page 2.

Highly unemotional and uninvolving for me. (I might read Pirate Lord though)

Crazy Hot by Tara Janzen

A nicely enjoyable read. With a superb frisson of naughtiness that lasts for just about a couple of pages but ends up almost being the defining memory of the whole novel. (Girl-friend sharing...in the nicest possible way.)

The plot is fairly standard stuff. What I enjoyed about it was the international breadth. From Mongolia to Chicago to Denver. Lovely. All totally believable. As was the main bad guy. Dispensing painful and sudden death in the blink of an eye. And nasty enough to make a good girl like Regan scream with fear. I totally enjoy spy thrillers where the denouement takes place in a big warehouse. I had no trouble visualising the walls of flames exploding all over the place. Just like in the best bad-boy action movies. I also totally love heroines who despite living completely normal lives do not hesitate for one second to do what it takes to help their man when he needs it. Without him so much as hinting he could use the assistance. Perfect. And yes. I also enjoyed the romance scenes. Steamy and joyful. Which is how it should be. Nice to hear a heroine tell the hero to mind his own business when he asks about her failed marriage.

Quinn and Regan almost totally disappear from the series after this story. But many of the other characters appear in novel after novel.

I have read this series in a sort of reverse order. Thus experiencing all the weird relationships and plots before the relatively straightforward one in Crazy Hot. In the end. My current favorites are this one and of course. The One. The Only. Crazy Cool.

I deeply admire the structure of the whole Crazy series. Some threads persist through each and every one of the books. (J T's death, weapons, cars) Whilst others break up or start half-way through. Add in the minor plots in each novel. More than sufficient stimulation for this avid and sophisticated reader. Boy. Some women have come a long way since they wrote essays at school. More power to such authors.

I'll be trying the Troubleshooter series next.

Claiming The Courtesan by Anna Campbell

In the end I didn't like this novel. Mainly because I recognised the type of heroine Verity turns out to be. A good old-fashioned ball-breaker. You know. The kind of gal who puts her man through hell before she accepts his proposal of marriage. Give out some bump and grind then make the guy feel like a piece of dirt for accepting it.

The hero, Kylemore, proposes to Verity twice. Once at the beginning of the story where she declines and then again on the last few pages where Verity accepts. Inbetween there's endless miserable fleeings and sordid reunions. Just about one chapter of happiness. Pages and pages of completely insincere 'I'm not worthy' crap from the heroine which is just an excuse to further put the hero through the wringer. Poor sap.

I absolutely loathed the character of Verity's brother. At 23 years old, he's more than capable of earning an honest living. But what does he do? Leeches off his sister, the hooker. His oafish shenanigans force Kylemore to declare Verity his mistress in front of an unruly mob. The whole scene made me cringe. In fact I cheered when Ben, the brother, got the whooping he so thoroughly deserved. Why Kylemore gave him even the time of day defied any reason. Still. That's the sort of baggage that comes with marrying a hooker.

The novel is also inconsistent in the characterisations and motivations of the main couple. All Verity needed to say in order to get rid of the Duke was, 'Actually Kylemore, I think I may have a slight case of the pox.' Her 'I want to be alone' schtick was just a total tease. I much prefered the scenes between the manipulative, assured Soraya and the arrogant Kylemore. The few that there were. The dowager Duchess was a magnificent creation. Ah. What might have been.

Basically this novel is a throwback to mid 70s monstrosities. Thank goodness most romance writers have given up this type of drivel. Even Gypsy Lady by Shirlee Busbee is better. Which is not saying much.

Crazy Sweet by Tara Janzen

Ok. Gillian was tortured by being injected with a painful experimental drug. But. As the evil bad guy, Tony Royce, so fondly remembers, Dylan suffered worse when he was captured by Hamzah Negara. And did Dylan come back to Steele Street thirsting for vengeance. No. He came back ready for love. For Skeeter.

Unlike Red Dog. I do remember Gillian Shore. Seeing how she did her best to miserify Dylan and Skeeter’s Crazy Love with her blame-filled memories of publishing, marriage and divorce in academia. She read as a somewhat bitter woman working a going nowhere administrative gofer job for a supposed passed over General. Personally. I consider that Red Dog is actually leading a much more interesting life since her torture. Living with nice guys, great job, physically healthier, inspiring love-life. So really. The only reason for her to be angry with Royce is that he let the amoral part of her psyche out into the open. You know. The part of her that lets her cheat on her man and then try to justify it in the name of vengeance. The part of her that wouldn’t hesitate to flush the Steele Street guys, wives and cute babies down the crapper, all in the name of righteous retribution. Gillian Shore had absolutely no self-esteem. Now Red Dog’s got attitude in spades. What’s she got to belly-ache about? Dylan should have taken her to one side and they could have talked both their experiences through in a supportive manner. I don’t blame other readers for disliking Gillian. I think they are right.

There is still one reason for liking Red Dog. In the man's world of sniperdom, the author allows her to get seriously wounded. Despite her supposed near-legendary hunting and shooting abilities. How typical. But I suppose that’s what had to happen for her to redeem herself. Didn’t work for me though. She just became a huge liability for the SDF in the middle of a mission. Still. Skeeter better realise she’s got a snowball in hells chance of being assigned to an operation.

Crazy Sweet is brilliantly put together though. At the end of chapter 2 I was gob-smacked when the author shut the reader out of Gillian and Travis’s intimate encounter. Fortunately we rejoined them later. And missed nothing. Unusually there are some steaming hot scenes near the beginning of the story. Makes a nice change for the series. In the meantime we got to meet Royce. What a great invention he was. The subsequent bad-guys in this series are pale shadows on a cave wall compared to Royce. What a shame he didn’t get to place Skeeter in danger. Seeing how he hated her so much more than Red Dog. I would love to have seen Dylan in stone-killer mode.

I’m totally used to the style of this genre now. So I had no problems with the Honey and Smith interludes. Poor Travis. He’s a lap-dog for Gillian. I suppose I’m witnessing an attempt at a bdsm relationship for a couple of the Steele Street crew. Like many readers. I find it just plain weird and totally non aspirational. Basically. The psychopharmaceuticals turned Gillian into a user..of people. But she always had it in her. Travis should just let her go. Until then their HEA is more a case of a work in progress. Gillian needs to make amends to 738 Steele Street. The novel should have ended with Dylan at last getting it on with Skeeter in her shiny red spike-heels.

Did I say I was giving up this series? What a liar I am. So much looking forward to Johnny and Esmee’s story. But November 2008!!?? (Sigh) Another year of life gone.

btw Why have Cody and expecially Kat totally disappeared from the series? I'd love to read some more about them.